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 Disorder in the Court!

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haru
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PostSubject: Disorder in the Court!   Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:51 am

Quote :
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. - kaithpantas

Anyway, found this on another forum and thought it was hilarious! Smile


Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.





Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.





Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.





Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?





Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.





Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.





Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.





Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?





Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?





Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?





Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?





Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?





Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?





Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?





Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.





Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.





Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.





Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.





Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?





Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

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Otoha
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PostSubject: Re: Disorder in the Court!   Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:38 am

Old jokes are oooold, though i still laughed at a few, the last one is the best.

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PostSubject: Re: Disorder in the Court!   Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:40 am

stop dissing my future
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krill
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PostSubject: Re: Disorder in the Court!   Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:38 pm

the very fact it is what you are doing is a diss to the profession
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PostSubject: Re: Disorder in the Court!   Thu Dec 17, 2009 1:02 pm

hey..hey!
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