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 I need some advise about my story..

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Zjjanmaster
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PostSubject: I need some advise about my story..   Tue Sep 14, 2010 1:12 pm

Hello! as you know before when i came here, i really want to hear some advise in my story.
I am planning to post it in to www.fictionpress.com
But I'm still very shy in putting it into that site.
Maybe, I am still scare to here their criticize.
That's is why I wanna no if my story could be like it or not.
I can't put it them directly here because it still translated from Tagalog to English.
I just hoping you to give me your Comment, Suggestion and advise.

I'll will put the chapters one each time if i finish writing them in my pc doc.
Refer the chapters into the chapter list
http://uwsanimedesu.forumotion.com/fanfic-stories-poems-f6/manga-storylines-post-yours-up-here-t357.htm#24121
^_+
__________________________________________________________________________

Death agreement
by Glenn C. Jansol

The history of the pass that mingle the peace of the old beings.

Fiction/Fantasy

The Narration

Once upon a time the world was rule by a human like humanoid who is more likely a human. the only differ is their pure pale color and the strength and quick they has, this species often called espada.

The espada rule all over the world by putting and agreement unto human, and then a bond approve and created that mingle the peace of both side.

Generation and generation passes the bond between human and espada became more even close that tie up their trust between side. Even more, the espada a race often serve human more and more then they do their selves, even they are advantage, they still threat human as a higher and to be follow, also, the espada adopt being below like a servant and live like a normal being.

The unity in human and espada is being laid by adatu, adatu is the one who rule both side, he/she the responsible in handling the peace and unity between the species.

The story begins when the existance of a espada Akoito Espeno atop secret agent who is a childhood close friend of a human Keena Estero the daughter of a espada Datu Aduta Estero, the present ruler. Akoito and Keena is always been close since they are a child, they always chat and play around the palace, until now they grown up the bond of their friendship is had never fade away.

The datu entrust akoito to care his daughter although he is busy on his work, and only his two servant that make his mind calm. his two servant is often called kat, the rightkat and the leftkat. the leftkat is a human name Anga Inabelen and the rightkat is a espada name Traiba Unahimo.

(End of the naration)



Last edited by Zjjanmaster on Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:29 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Sub is Fantasy)
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PostSubject: Re: I need some advise about my story..   Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:47 am

Hey it's very interesting!^^

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Zjjanmaster
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PostSubject: Re: I need some advise about my story..   Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:17 am

Its all my word here is alright?.

I wanted to post here some part of the chapter one so then you can give me some any advice and comment.

I really accept any advice even it isn't good or good

^_+

If you want please tell me.

___________________________________________________________________________________________


http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2847770/1/Death_Agreement


hehehehe ^_+ I hope you should wait the chapter one.
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