The One Sentence Story

A bright light then shone on him

It was the journalists and their cameramen/photographers who thought he'd make good news

but they couldn't get the past the large tight-knit circle of people who had gathered around him

SUDDENLY PONNIES APPEARED AND KICKED kashiwazaki semoponume IN THE FACE!!!

"IN YOUR FACE!!!!" shouted Finn the human boy in the background.

Finn was then eaten by a bannana, and so the story came to an end...

But that bannana was actually Jake, who spat him out and carried him back to the Candy kingdom.

Jake was a very great person, excelled in both the literary and military arts, was a warrior who crushed the strong and saved the weak, was overflowing with charisma, and was loved by people around the nation,
one day, jake headed to town for his rape time as he always did.

...and raped the tree, then shouted "GYAH SPLINTERS!! D:"

He saw a fat obnoxious girl lying on the ground in the middle of the village square, surrounded by a group of men, so pitiful she was, the pig cried with a stupid look on her face, as she did not know what was happening.

Jake refused to help the girl saying "I only like little girls"

Which was just a diversional tactic, so Finn jumped out to defeat all the men by surprise while Jake rescued the girl, for he had an honourable heart and a great sense of justice taught by his dad.

Finn then "accidentally" dropped the girl into the river.

(what!?! How can that happen, Jake had the girl...)

It didn't matter because the girl turned into a really beautiful goddess and thanked Finn and Jake who went home safely, the end.

(start new one)

Once upon a time there were two atoms...

that spontaneously exploded thus creating the Big Bang.

After the collision, there was a time of peace.

And dinosaurs ate food with their eyes.

And the age of dinosaurs came about.

Dinosaurs ate the trees

Then the prokaryoates ate the dinosaurs.

But all ended when a mass meteor storm wrecked the entire earth, bringing forth the Ice Age.

And tigers and sloths and mammoths appeared :O

The sabre-tooth tiger, giant sloth and mammoth began on journey by delivering a lost human baby back to it's tribe.

And then the sloth farted using the tigers tail to wipe his butt 8D